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I have an app on my phone and I’m sure its where the crazy, sex mad girls seem to live. I once had a women, a teacher no less, start talking dirty to me. Now it’s not normally my kind of thing to start talking dirty from the word go (I remember when I was seeing a girl a few months back we started talking dirty I do believe I got bored half way through and wandered in to my kitchen, I later returned to my phone and she had text asking where I was, I think I text back saying ’sorry I went to get an orange!’ true story) but hey I thought why not might be fun see what happens.  We talked on and off for a while, the usual stuff. What you wearing? Are you naked? To be honest I can’t remember what we talked about haha! The only conversation I can remember is the one we had about what she wanted me to do to her. This women was Bi- sexual, a teacher and very kinky!

Basically she wanted me to do her up the bum with a strap on over the bonnet of her car in the middle of the woods! I don’t know about anyone else but that is very specific. She was very keen on me and we did arrange to meet up, only she didn’t turn up, so I ended up at Sheffield train station for half an hour waiting for me train, it wasn’t  a complete wasted journey though as I did have a nice chat with my sister on the phone and bought my monthly magazine so at least I got some out of it. Honestly it was probably more satisfying then anything I was about to get up to anyway. I wasn’t too bothered about it, only I has been stood up by a different girl off the same app a few days before so I was in a bit of a grumpy mood about it.

Another girl once decided to send me a dirty photo of herself a few minutes after she said hey, might not have minded only it was a photo of her bent over with her index finger firmly jammed up her arse! Gives a whole new meaning to the phase get your finger out your arse.  By the way don’t send anyone a photo like that. It’s not sexy! I did message her back though telling her I liked her socks. She kept sending me a photo of a cock up a bum for some reason, then the app glitched and I sent her ‘Stop sending me that photo!’ about 15 times!

The app wasn’t all bad though. I did make a couple of mates off it. Plus it does make for some great stories.

So if your thinking of going on dating apps, bear with it you do find the hidden gems in the end 🙂