Acceptance

This morning I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my stomach, its a feeling I have had before, its that feeling that something is not going to go to plan this morning and I am going to be that one feeling like crap after it. That thing today that didn’t go to plan was a date! Despite the girl I was meant to meet seeming lovely and keen to see me, she didn’t turn up for our date, she hasn’t responded to my messages either. This had got me thinking about acceptance.

People always give you that lines when things don’t work out in dating or in relationships, the old, it will happen when it happens, it happens at the time its meant to, plenty more fish in the sea, you will find it when you stop looking. I know why people say these line, its because they don’t really know what to say and in the end there isn’t really anything you can say to that person that they haven’t already heard or that will make them feel better about what has happened.

This has got me thinking that maybe its holding on to the believe that it will happen when you stop looking or it will happen when you least expect it to which are in the end making us sad. Maybe the best thing to do its just to accept that you might never find anyone to be with and share your life with, to set yourself free from the feeling of wanting and desiring someone, before you start hating your situation and yourself, before you start to think that there is something wrong with you, which there isn’t.

I don’t know, I can’t know for sure if I will find someone and maybe I should be okay with that. Even though at the minute I’m really not okay with that, accepting something is a hard thing to do, but when you have tried everything else, accepting it can’t be any worst then feeling like crap even time something doesn’t work out, can it?

After all I’ve been single longer than I’ve been with someone, so really I’m use to my own company, plus lets be honest its cheaper ha!

 

 

Hello I’m back again!

wwwsexandthetitties

Hello! so its been quite a while since I posted anything. The main reason has been that, although I have lots of thoughts whizzing around my mind I just haven’t been able to get them out and on to paper or screen. However today that had changed and I can feel they are ready to come out ha!

So its a new year! 2017! and today is my 29th birthday, that’s right this year will be my last year in the twenties! So I have decided to give myself a bit of a challenge this year, what is this challenge? drum roll please……..

In October I will be trekking the Great wall of China!

Over 5 days I will be trekking approx. 21 miles from Huangyaguan to Badaling where I will be helping to rebuild the wall! and I am doing all this to raise money for the Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund!

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Hello I’m back again!

Hello! so its been quite a while since I posted anything. The main reason has been that, although I have lots of thoughts whizzing around my mind I just haven’t been able to get them out and on to paper or screen. However today that had changed and I can feel they are ready to come out ha!

So its a new year! 2017! and today is my 29th birthday, that’s right this year will be my last year in the twenties! So I have decided to give myself a bit of a challenge this year, what is this challenge? drum roll please……..

In October I will be trekking the Great wall of China!

Over 5 days I will be trekking approx. 21 miles from Huangyaguan to Badaling where I will be helping to rebuild the wall! and I am doing all this to raise money for the Royal Air Force Benevolent Fund!

Over the next few months I will keep you all update on how my training and fund raising is going and how you can sponsor me if you wish! 🙂

I cant write a blog without saying something about my quest for love! haha! Well I’m still a single pringle, whos ready to mingle! Last year I had a few ups and a lot of downs when it came to women and I ended the year the way I started it, sad and alone! haha! nah I ended it single and a little more wiser shall we say. I decided to not really bother too much with women as they really are more trouble than they are worth most of the time, so I’m just doing things that make me happy and trying to come up with a plan for my future, and if a lovely lady would like to join me at some point then great! and if not, I can always get a cat!

what’s right

Well what a few weeks I have had, I have been thinking about the future and what it holds for me but I might touch on that another time.

The main thing that has been on my mind and is on my mind most of the time ha is women! Recently I got talking to a women and she asked me out on a date yay! only we didn’t make it to the date as her ex kind of wants her back. Now at first you think oh an ex creeping around well that unheard of! But wait there is more to the story then you think, they split a few months ago and the reason was because her ex wanted a baby and she wasn’t ready for one and her ex decided to wait till this women was ready to date me till she told her she still loves her. At first I was very annoyed and a bit upset, cause I like this women we get on and I was looking forward to date at last haha! but when I really think about it why should they not be together, they still love each other and if its just having a baby that’s keeping them a part I’m sure that’s something they can sort out. I mean who am I to stand in the way of other peoples happiness, after all isn’t that what everyone wants, a little bit of happiness, a family, a unit. Just to be with someone who cares and loves them, who you can share stuff with.

Okay so it kinda sucks balls that I don’t get my shot with this beautiful, lovely, kind, funny women, but I will find my women in the end. Everything happens for a reason and I like to think the reason we started talking was so I could make her see that they belong together, and as sad as that might makes me, it also makes me smile and feel really good inside, because I did what is right. I will always do what is right, even if it hurts because I would rather be alone and do what’s right than be selfish and with someone and not be able to live with myself.

Plus where one girl walks out of my life another always walks in, so they can have their happiness and I will continue to find mine 🙂

I’m back!

I have graduated and I can say I am officially in the RAF and a qualified caterer! I am also still single, boo! not for my lack of trying of course.

So I have my first post and so far I’m enjoying it, but I can’t help but feel that something is missing from my life and for once I’m not talking about a women, though that would be nice to have someone to share my life with. No I’m talking about having something other than work, since 2013 I have always had something else to do outside work. I have started to look in to voluntary work in the community and I have been looking at sport as well.

I have also bought the book the secret and I’m giving that a bash! To be honest I like it, its very me and after reading a bit of it I have decided I like that idea of being a Metaphysician haha! it sounds so far fetched, but when you really think about it makes so much sense. When I read what one is, it was like it was speaking to me on so many levels, crazy!

Okay so I know you want to know about my many girl, oh how I wish I had many women haha! I’m talking to a few and I’m leaving it there 😛

 

Hey there!

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So I’m back home at last. I did have a couple of weeks after I graduated from the RAF which were nice. I have just come home after 10 weeks down South, I can only describe it as going deep in to the heart of the enemy HA! Nah it’s being okay down there, but its great to be back in the North!

I’ve almost finished my training to be a Caterer, just have a couple of weeks in the field and then I graduate, then I’m off to my first post! YAY! It’s about time too.

It is quite odd being home, I just feel almost like a different person in a way, I mean I’m the same crazy, sweet little chick, just I feel so happy 😀 My life has finally turned around, I have worked so hard to get to where I am and in a way I can’t believe I’ve done it. I can honestly say I have never felt so proud of myself. I wanted a career and I went out there and got one, which I will be starting very soon. Hopefully it will be the start of an amazing journey, I have no idea where it is going to take me, I just know I’m looking forward to it.

All I need now is a girl to share my journey with……I’m sure that won’t be too hard to find, I mean who doesn’t want to date a RAF girl HA!

Hello again….

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So I graduate from the RAF very soon, I’ve just had a few days off which were very welcome indeed. I filled my days with seeing friends, eating, drinking, eating, drinking haha. I saw my JCI group on our annual pub train crawl which was awesome and its always a pleasure to see them and I went to SkegVegas with a special someone!

I have enjoyed my days at home, but all good things come to an end, which can only mean one thing…..I return to my training tomorrow. I must be honest although I do enjoy parts of training and I know I am doing it for a better life, a part of me doesn’t want to leave here. yes its fun to leave home and go on crazy adventures but there is nothing like coming home, to familiar faces and the people who know you the best 🙂 I am hugely proud to be graduating very soon and you guys have no idea the amount of sweat and tears I have been through to get to this stage, I can honestly say my legs, arms and pretty much my whole body has never hurt so much haha! What a crazy 10 weeks I have been though, I am eager to finish this stage of training now and move on and being training for the job I signed up to do.

More adventure a waits me, and although I am excited to see what is in store for me, I can’t be more excited than I am at the thought of coming home and sharing those times with the people I love right here, where I call home 😀

Adventure a head

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Over the last couple of weeks I have been doing lots of walking and running and spending time with friends and family, as tomorrow I will be on my way to basic training.

I feel a little sad to be leaving my friends, as over the last two years I have met some great people and been part of a great group known as JCI. I have had many wonderful and fun times as part of JCI and although I will remain a member and hopefully get to visit other chambers across the UK and maybe even the world, I know it won’t be the same as the one in my home town of Barnsley 🙂 I would like to thank all of them for their support and friendship, wish them well, and hope Barnsley continues to grow and become a stronger chamber every day.

I also feel happy to be starting a new and exciting career, it is a little scary as I have no idea what is going to happen, who I will meet and where I will be going after my training, but that is what life is all about. The thrill of not knowing what might happen 🙂 It is a little odd to think after so long I am finally going to be starting my RAF career tomorrow.

I will miss everyone, one person a little more than any other, but I will be back, and I will be buff! haha! and so beings the adventure of a life time.

Till next time dear friends….

 

Looking to the future

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The last couple of months my mind has been filled with the RAF, I have finally after a year of waiting, have passed the process and I am starting basic training at the end of the month. It is slowly sinking in that I am about to take one of the biggest steps in my life and it is one I really can’t believe is fast approaching. The thought that it is the start of a career is amazing and although I am sure it will be hard and tough and there will be times I will think, why have I done this to myself haha! those moments will not last long as the rewards are great. As I always say, if its worth having, its worth working for.

Today is my last shift at work and although I am happy to be leaving to start a new path, it will be a little sad to. Saying good bye to all my friends for a while will be sad, but they have supported me though out my whole process and I would like to thank them all for that support.

I’m also still seeing a girl, that’s right STILL!!! LOL! She does make me happy and it will be tough leaving her for a while, but sometimes I women’s got to do what a women’s got to do. Plus who wouldn’t like the idea of dating some one in the RAF, that blue uniform is Sexalisous!

I’m looking forward to the future and everything that it will bring, and starting my big adventure very soon 🙂

Busy busy

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It has been a busy few weeks, I have completed my RAF fitness test which I am happy about. I was worried about the mile and a half run I had to do on the treadmill as I have been running it in miles and just completing it under the set time ( 13 minutes 23 seconds) so I was worried I might not do it at the test, so imagine my relieve to find out I had to run it set on Km LOL! so much easier. I smashed the time and did it in 12 minutes 25 seconds 😀

So now have a possible entry date for a couple of months time but first I just have to complete a 4 day training course next month along with an interview and then I will be off on an adventure haha. I must say I am a little nervous about the four day training, mainly because I have a 5 hour train journey and four changes to make to get to where I am going and I have no real idea what to expect when i get there, I’m sure I will be fine though. Just have to do my best.

planting trees 2015

Planting trees 🙂

I have also been busy with my JCI group. On Saturday I helped to plant trees in a local area and we did very well and planted over five hundred trees in just a few hours. My hands and back aches now though, plus I had a stupidly busy weekend at work which didn’t help my aches and pains, as I now feel like I have been ran over! haha! Thank the lord I have a week off soon.

I also have a couple of projects to do for my JCI group, one which is on going and I may have to pass on to someone else depending on where I will be in a few months times.

Now I get to the girl front…….well I’m still seeing the same girl so that’s a first 🙂 haha!